Kenton Cargile

Kenton’s Reflections (Taken from his posts from the past two years) I had to ask myself how do I deal personally with the fact I am dying? My answer was to rely on my faith and the belief that all things are in God’s hands! I have said before and will continue to say, do not feel sorrow for me, but instead rejoice in your beliefs and faith. This has never been a battle for me, but instead a journey. I have decided I do not want to battle cancer, but instead take a journey of faith and strength! I know my heart is full of love and my faith is strong. I don’t know when it happened, but God opened the eyes in my soul to allow me to see Him. Since that day I have experienced a happiness that cannot be measured. There is a light which is shining brightly in my life. I have a calmness and peace inside me that I cannot explain, but it gives me comfort. I choose to live and cherish every moment in life going forward. I have learned during this journey that I had not really lived my life.  I was a prisoner of my own insecurities and the judgement of others. I realized during those moments of possible death that God had carried me through those times.  Today I live my life as if it is my last breath. I know my life is going to be shortened possibly because of cancer, but it will not take away my will to live! The real decision you must make is to choose to live! The choice to live and how you choose to live is where the real blessings will be shown to you! I have realized during this trying time in my life I am the happiest I have ever been. I am at peace with who I am as a person and my spiritual strength has never been stronger. My mind is strong and my spirit and faith are unwavering. The memories you have reminded me of have been wonderful and reminded me what life is all about: friendships, love, family and God. My God has been better to me than I have ever been to myself. I find myself in a unique and blessed position. If my life is taken I am ok. I have been assured because of my belief God will comfort me in my time of need and He will carry me when I cannot carry myself. I am blessed because I can tell you I have no fear. I have an opportunity today to say thank you for your love and support.  I tell you this with a happy heart and soul, I have never been happier in my life! I wake up mornings with a smile on my face. I understand some of you will ask for or look for a miracle. We have had a continued miracle together in the months and years we have shared since this journey began.  Today we will begin our celebration of life.  Not just mine, but your family, your friends and most importantly yours! Today find one thing to let go of that has bothered you for years and isn’t worth holding onto!  Find the joy in your life and pass it onto others.  Smile, embrace and love!  Those 3 things are free, but we put such a hefty price on them because we have not found the peace or security in ourselves to give them without worrying about the response.  I LOVE YOU, I WILL EMBRACE YOU AND YOU KNOW I WILL SMILE AT YOU! I'm very happy! I ask you not to run through life so fast that you forget how to love and care for others.  Your strength and caring has been my strength. I want you to know I’m not looking for a miracle because my miracle happened on August 5^th, 2013 when I was diagnosed. My miracle continues to shine in and through me. The reason I say my miracle started August 5^th is because I had to really challenge myself about my faith. Do I believe or do I not believe? I chose to believe. Death and illness do not have to be a tragedy. The tragedy is when you don’t live the life you are given. Accept the blessings of the day and pay them forward. I have learned to find the joy in my life and forget about those things that do not enhance me. I want to love, smile, laugh and have spiritual balance. I want to reach out to the stranger I meet who may be down on their luck and say, “I got you – you let me know what you need”. Laugh with me today, smile with me today and love those dear to you today. I want you to know that every time I smile at you, I give you a piece of me.  I share with you my heart, my soul and my spirit! Every day I awake I know I still have a mission and that is how I will live. I thought I would yearn for things I may believe I would miss, but instead I can’t wait to capture every moment of the day when I wake. I set out on this journey to give people a different face of cancer, and I believe I have done that! I set my mind to be an example of strength during adversity. I’m not courageous, I’m just a fighter. I battle this thing with love, passion, strength, courage and the heart of a champion. I will not give up. If cancer takes my life sooner than later, I’m at peace and my soul is not searching for happiness because I’m already there. I have never been happier! I wake up with a smile on my face. I have come to realize for me that maybe all God truly wants me to see in this life is happiness. I could have easily said, “There is no light in the darkness I am facing”! That is not true! There is not one without the other. There is a light which is shining brightly in my life. I have received an outpouring of love from each of you that has lifted my spirit beyond heights I could ever imagine. I have a calmness and peace inside of me that I cannot explain, but it gives me comfort. I have been able to recognize a life I was unable to see before because of my selfish desires. I am now able to appreciate the blessings of the past I was unable to see because I thought I may have been deserving of something that really wasn’t important! I can’t tell you how much spiritual growth I have gained through this process. I can’t tell you how much I’ve grown. I ask that you not run through life so fast that you forget how to love and care for others. I have never been more at peace than I am now. It’s an amazing thing to have peace in your life. I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I know today brought me love, kindness, you as a member of my family and God’s continued healing hand being present. I have been given a unique opportunity to better myself as a person while I go through this.  I will seize this opportunity. I have also been given the chance to share my story. Through doing so I have become less worried about what people think about me, but more concerned with just being the best me! I will continue to rage away from the Darkness and walk gently toward the Light! I can’t tell you how much spiritual growth I have gained through this process. I can’t tell you how much I have grown. It's the craziest thing to think about mortality and how to move on with your life in the shadow of medical death.  I know my heart is full of love and my faith is strong. My friends and family once again I ask you to not be sad.  I ask you to rejoice in our friendship and love we have for one another! I ask you to do your part in your relationships with others and love them deeply. I ask that you be strong for each other during this time. Keep smiling-it makes the world a better place even if only for a moment!! If you hear I have passed on, have a party in celebration of life! Remember I didn’t give up, but we all need to rest at some point. If you awake and I am no longer here I have taken Christ’s invitation to come home. Celebrate! Celebrate life! Find your peace. Find your happiness and pass it on to others. The great Maya Angelou wrote in her last days, “Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God”. I have heard His voice and within His voice is the love of my being a child of His. I want you to know that God hears your prayers! I’m over two years into this thing and God is giving me a way to say goodbye on my own terms. We have won my friends and we don’t know it yet! I want to thank you my friends, family and loved ones for your love, prayers and support. And a special thanks to my hero and son, McKenzie Cargile, and my angels Uncle Lawrence and Aunt Joyce Cargile and Kate Johnson. Love you. Smiles. God bless. Love, peace and God's blessings to Demetrius, TahNeesha and Tony. In lieu of flowers, Kenton's family is requesting donations for a memorial scholarship in Kenton's name.  Donations can be made at the following: https://www.nwhsaa.org/ Here is link to a news story on Kenton: https://m.kvrr.com/local-news/local-umpire-fighting-biggest-battle-off-field/32808176 Here is a link to Kenton's Hall of Fame Induction: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1622400831344835&id=100007248008520&ref=bookmarks