John A. Lulay
August 6, 1973 ~ December 17, 2025
John Albert Lulay was an amazingly talented, funny, and loving man who was born August 6, 1973 in Jamestown, ND and passed on December 17, 2025 in Sedona, AZ. This is a small part of his big story.
John was born to Bob and Alma Lulay and was joined four years later by his sister, Lisa. John and Lisa were best friends growing up on their family farm near Wimbledon and remained close throughout their lives. As a child, John was funny, active, and detail-oriented, spending his time with farm toys, drawing, and—perhaps most importantly—co-founding (with Lisa) the two-member Glen Campbell Rhinestone Cowboy Fan Club.
In high school, John played basketball and football and cemented his reputation as a natural comedian. Whether his glorious mullet was sincere or ironic will forever remain a mystery.
Growing up, there were many potential career paths that piqued John’s interest. He once dreamed of becoming an Air Force pilot, later earning a degree in Early Education (and by all accounts would have been an exceptional teacher). Handy and hardworking, he spent time in construction, insurance, and eventually enjoyed a successful sales career in tech including several years at Microsoft. His boldest professional leap came when, as a young adult, he sold his beloved Eagle Talon for a bus ticket to California to pursue stand-up comedy. His time in California was short and he did not end up making it big in standup, but he is remembered by everyone who knew him as one the funniest people on the planet.
Beyond laughter, John had a rare gift for making people feel seen. Whether lifelong friends or total strangers, he treated everyone with dignity, compassion, and genuine care. He was a wonderful listener, gave legendary hugs, was slow to anger, and unafraid to show his love.
Though unfailingly silly, John was deeply complex. An avid hunter and gun collector, he was also a gifted self-taught artist who found meaning and expression in metalwork. He loved movies and music and shared both generously. His children remember the world’s best (often burnt) French toast, ice-cream runs in the dead of winter, help with any problem, and a talent for making even the dullest tasks fun. John loved the outdoors, peanut-butter-and-chocolate anything, and maintained a magnificent beard with great devotion—unsurprising to those who remember his self-tanner and highlighted-hair era. Beard touching by his children was a rare honor.
John’s relationship with his longtime partner, Juliet Trnka, began with a chance encounter while he was biking through her neighborhood in search of an apartment. A year later, they crossed paths again when Juliet – then completing her massage therapy training – was providing onsite chair massage at John’s office. Whether it was Juliet’s exceptional massage skills or John’s sophisticated flirting, the spark between them was undeniable. A few months later, John’s boss and friend secretly provided John with Juliet’s email address and he reached out to ask her on a date. The rest, as they say, is history. Juliet was the calm to John’s intensity and he could make her – the serious healer and businesswoman – giggle like a schoolgirl. The Universe in all its wisdom continued giving John and Juliet the opportunity to choose each other which they did for 15+ years, allowing them to build a complex, adventurous, and beautiful life together with their children.
Twelve years prior to his passing, John made the courageous choice to live a life of sobriety. Alcoholics Anonymous became a central part of his life, supporting his personal growth and allowing him to mentor and sponsor many others. After moving to Sedona in 2022, John became a leader in the local AA community where he used his humor and humility as tools to engage and connect with fellow members.
One of John’s central pieces of work in AA was learning to let go of resentment, understanding that it harms no one except the person who carries it. For John, this meant prayerfully and intentionally wishing well for the person or situation you resent. Another core part of his AA journey was trusting that God will provide everything you need—even when that “everything” looks different than you expected. Let us honor a beautiful friend, brother, son, partner, father, and man by carrying forward John’s legacy of forgiveness, faith, and compassion for one another.
John is preceded in death by his sister Christine, his grandparents, and several aunts and uncles. He is survived by his parents, Bob and Alma; his sister, Lisa; his partner, Juliet; and his two children, Pasha and Jacob, whom he adored with his whole heart. He also leaves behind many in-laws, nieces, nephews, and dear friends who already deeply miss his light.
John’s life will be celebrated at Boulger Funeral Home in Fargo on January 2 at 2pm, with visitation beginning at 1pm. His children invite guests to honor John by wearing your favorite black or white T-shirt—and grooming your facial hair, if you’ve got it.
Please support John’s family below:
https://gofund.me/70b9beb5f
Services
Visitation: Friday, January 2, 2026 1:00 pm - 2:00 pm
Boulger Funeral Home and Celebration of Life Center
123 10th Street S.
Fargo, North Dakota 58103
701-237-6441
www.boulgerfuneralhome.com
Celebration of Life: Friday, January 2, 2026 2:00 pm
Boulger Funeral Home and Celebration of Life Center
123 10th Street S.
Fargo, North Dakota 58103
701-237-6441
www.boulgerfuneralhome.com
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What a beautiful soul to have met. Gratitude I felt the warmth of his light as our paths crossed. Although John is gone, I genuinely believe the permeance of his rays shine on in the souls he touched.
Can’t attach photo here; can however it can be viewed on the timeline. 💜
John was one of the kindest guys was lucky enough to work with. Prayers to his family
I remember your wonderful soul—the infectious belly laughs and the endless stories that always had us in stitches. You had a way of making everyone feel seen, heard, and cared for, and your kindness radiated in everything you did. The events, the memories, the moments we shared—too many to count—are forever etched in my heart. You touched so many lives with your genuine spirit.
Though our paths led us in different directions, you will always bring a smile to my face whenever your name is mentioned. You are, and always will be, a beautiful soul.
Rest in love, John.
Prayers lifted to you all. John was one of the funniest people I have ever met. Thankful I had the chance to be in his warm and fun presence years ago. Sending lots of prayers to the Lulay family ♥️🙏🏼
Heaven gained another amazing human♥️
We are so sorry to hear of John’s passing. You have our deepest sympathy.
I first met John and Kurt in Jamestown, back in ’97. That summer was full of fun times hanging out with those two. Then we all moved away. The following summer, I was at a Madson Family Reunion, when a car pulled in – and out jumped John! He ran over and said “Rox, we need to go check out the Family Tree-I think we’re related!” That moment still makes me laugh!
A couple of years ago, I had a few conversations with Lulay about a family member who was struggling with addiction. He was so supportive, answered all my questions, and reassured me that I was taking the right steps to help her. I truly appreciated his kindness and wisdom during those talks.
John was always upbeat, kind, and had a sparkle in his eyes. He genuinely cared about people and made the world a better place just by being in it. And it feels strange to call him John, because, to me, he’ll always be “Lulay”.
My heart hurts for all of you. Cherish all of the memories that you have. Hugs.
I’d never known anyone like John before I met him and I dont believe I will meet his like again. Like so many others John counseled me in some of my darkest times with unparalleled compassion, love, understanding and wisdom. He saw things in me I didn’t always see in myself. I was so blessed to love him as a brother for 15 years, and I deeply admired his depth of care and dedication as a partner and a father. It pains me I no longer get to look forward to his caring presence and the joy he brought us all at family gatherings with his incredible sense of humor and fun. Never has one person made me laugh so much or feel so seen. You brought so much light into this world John, and though I will miss you terribly, I am comforted knowing it remains in the love we all carry for you. Rest in peace my brother.
My heart is broken for John’s loved ones. I’m deeply sorry. John was smart, kind, funny and caring – he will always be remembered this way to those who were fortunate enough to know him. May love and peace surround you.
It felt like John and I immediately became friends the first time that I met him here in Sedona. I could see right away that John was funny, real, and not afraid to solve problems. John taught me how to weld, and he showed me examples of the beautiful work that he created. I always looked forward to a visit with John whenever our kids got together to play, and he will be greatly missed.
I was sorry to hear about your loss. John had a natural charisma. When John was around, his wit and humor were so welcoming to everybody.
You are in my thoughts.
Bob, Alma, and Lisa,
I am so sorry to hear about John’s passing. I have so many memories from high school and, of course, our paddlefishing days near Williston. He once mentioned how we should grab Chuck and head back up to do some paddlefishing, sharing how many great memories he had from those times.
John was always someone you could count on—ready with a smile or a laugh to share. The fun moments we all experienced together can’t be repeated, but they will always be remembered. He had a heart that truly reached out to others, and he will be deeply missed.
Please know you are in my thoughts during this difficult time.
Bob&Alma My Deepest Sympathy to you and your family. I so no what it is like to lose a child too.
God Bless you Gloria Bartlett.
As I read the heartfelt tributes to John, it’s hard to believe he’s no longer with us. Though it’s been a while since we last spoke, I remember John fondly. As so many of noted, he was extraordinarily funny, with humor that seemed effortless and never ending. Memories of John will always bring a smile to my face. Condolences to his family and may he rest in peace.
Bob, Alma, Lisa and families, we were so sorry to hear of the loss of John. Many thoughts and prayers as you travel the road to understanding what has happened. God will hold you in his arms on those horrible days and help to carry you through. Marion and Ed
I had the privilege of working with John over the past two years. It didn’t take long for me to realize the John possessed the uncanny ability to make you feel like a longtime friend. His compassion, empathy and wonderment were contagious. His authenticity and genuine care for others was both inspiring and appreciated and will be greatly missed.
In my role as John’s co-worker, I was the recipient of his client’s responses when hearing of John’s passing. Here’s a sample of the messages received. They summarize the several comments both in writing and in spoken word I’ve heard regarding John’s professional relationships. He truly cared for his clients and their well-being and success.
John has been a wonderful partner to us and I’m terribly sorry to hear of his passing.
Sincerely,
Kristen
I loved working with John and will miss his partnership greatly.
Kevin
I’ve always held John in great esteem due to his competence, savvy, and candor. He treated us fairly, brought a steady professionalism to every interaction, and was always a genuine pleasure to work with—whether the conversation was business-related or not.
Markeith
I have been working with John for about the past year and have had nothing but good things to say regarding that relationship….
Jason
John’s kindness, integrity, and steady presence were always evident, and his dedication to the people he worked with truly stood out. He made a meaningful impact, and he will be remembered with great respect and appreciation.
Kate
Thank you, John, for setting a great example of being a man of authenticity both professionally and in your personal relationships.
You ARE missed, my friend!
John and I always had something to talk about. John had a super-power, the innate ability to make you feel like you always had a friend. Through ups, and downs, stresses and triumphs, John was always there to connect, support, and provide a chuckle. We spent hours discussing his love of classic country/folk music, his beautiful artwork, and his love of his family and the outdoors. His humility and openness to all he came into contact with, was other-worldly.
In the last few weeks, finding the words has been difficult. But I have chose to appreciate that despite his passing, John gave me one last gift. That gift has been the reminder to hold my family closer these last few weeks and seek out gratitude for that which I cherish in my life (even the simplest of joys) at a time of year when it is most important.
I think it is safe to say John has left a lasting imprint on everyone he has come into contact with. Loss is never easy, and my heart is with all of you this holiday season. I wish everyone peace and rest.
And to John, I wish you eternal peace. You will be missed and never forgotten.
John was a great guy and I always enjoyed our time together hanging out.Prayers to his loved ones.
Harvey Schneider
Egogahan John
Bobby and Alma, my heart goes out to both of you and to Lisa and John’s children. Prayers to both of you for peace and healing. Love, Tom
Alma and Family,
We were saddened to see the death of your beloved son John. We hope you can find peace in the memory of his accomplishments. He seemed to be a wonderful person who found recovery. His dedication to others that have struggled with addiction is testimony to his work to help everyone. God’s blessings to you and your family.
Jim and Jonell Niemeyer.
Bob & Alma
We are sorry to hear of John’s passing. Our hearts hurt for each of you.
May his memories continue to bless you all.
Les & Sheryl
Barb Schellenberg (a friend of Juliet’s)
John Lulay
Was one of the best additions to Sedona in recent years. When he and his family moved here we all were enriched by the risk they took to be part of our community.
His aggressive cheerfulness was infectious. The schtick he enjoyed at his regular meetings was precious. He was a wonderfully engaging member of the fellowship.
I knew John as unfailingly helpful. In most conversations he would ask if there was a way that his prairie skill set could be of use.
One of the most powerful things about moving to Sedona is the way she shapes us.
If you have a creative spirit it will be seen or heard whether you want it or not. Over the past couple of years John’s love of metal sculpting flowered. It was so encouraging that at the Christmas mart he sold all of the pieces that he brought.
This community was enriched by his art and spirit.
Finally, I must tell you that John Lulay was one of the most courageous men I have known. He was burdened with some of the most extraordinarily challenging circumstances a person can have. It takes courage for a man to ask for help in the myriad ways that John attempted.
I am sensitive to this because Adell Shay had to ask for help in similar fashion placing herself in a facility in Flagstaff, Christmas a few years . It is so hard for a person that is committed to the spiritual path suffer so much pain and anguish and then summon the humility and courage to seek professional intervention on that level.
There are stories each of us may have about what happened with our friend
We know only a little.
I am secure that John loved us and we loved him as deeply as we possibly could for exactly as long as we were supposed to.
My experience is that Love never dies. In the universe I inhabit, but do not understand I find great comfort in the knowledge that after John Lulay passed beyond our sight and hearing, that radiant being we knew as Adell crossed the room, put her am around John and said,
Oh,honey it’s so good to see you……
I knew John through my time at NDSU and common friends. I had lost touch with him and was disappointed to learn that he was living in AZ like I am. My condolences to John’s family and friends. He was truly a broke the mold one of a kind guy.
I’m so sorry to see the passing of John. I didn’t know John very well, only met him once or twice, but I always heard how much fun he was to be around. My condolences to all of you. I pray that God will guide you during this difficult time.
Please take care of each other and dwell on the great memories John provided you with. Hugs and prayers to you.
I just got done watching John’s service and I agree. He lit up talking about his family, was a kind, caring guy and remembered you if he had only met you once.
Rest in peace, John. You will not be forgotten💙
We were neighbors in Fargo and bought our house, in large part, because of John and his sincerity, kindness, and light. He was an amazing neighbor and we loved being next door to the whole wonderful family. Our hearts are heavy learning of his passing and we wish the family peace during this difficult time. He will always be remembered as the best neighbor of all time. We love you, John.